Smash Century
by evsmashmar
Summary: Captain Falcon is invited to participate in the Super Smash Brothers Competition, while also attempting to find a girlfriend in Samus. How will he stack up against the rest of the Nintendo Universe?
1. Prologue

In the beginning, there was the Hand. Clothed in a white glove made of nigh-impenetrable fabric, the Hand was with power. The Hand's power was both creative and destructive. For centuries the two powers battled within the mind of the Hand. The Hand would create worlds and universes, only for them to be destroyed by him. Many generations passed in this time, which would be forever known as "the Chaos."

Near the end of the Chaos, the Hand realized that there was only one way to stop the madness: by splitting himself up into two separate beings. One of these beings would contain all of the Hand's creative power; the other would contain his destructiveness. The Hand favored the creative hand, and thus named it dominant. It would forever be known as the Master Hand, while his opposite-fingered counterpart would be known as Crazy Hand. The original Hand was now nothing but a soul. To preserve his essence, he thrust himself into the Mater Hand. When Master Hand saw this, he was blessed.

Master Hand saw that the only way to save the universe and ideology that his "father" created was to vanquish Crazy Hand. Master Hand searched through galaxy upon galaxy, all throughout the universe he inhabited to find his brother, but Crazy Hand would not give up easily. One day, Master Hand accidentally stumbled upon Crazy Hand, hiding many lightyears away from his homeland. Once Crazy Hand was encountered, an amazing battle took place. It raged on for days, with neither side giving in to the other. Though he was vastly stronger than his brother, it was impossible for Master Hand to kill him. Master Hand soon realized that he could not destroy Crazy Hand because he did not have the power to destroy; he could only create. Knowing that he could not truly win, he created a new dimension, one to act as a prison to hold Crazy Hand. It would be impossible for him to escape, and would be forced to watch the rest of Master Hand's creation eat, play, and interact with each other from afar. This dimension would serve as Crazy Hand's final destination. Master Hand succeeded in trapping his brother, and rejoiced; for his father's world would live on.

But, Master Hand soon grew lonely. As such, he created a new world, a massive one filled with different species and creatures. This world would be the greatest world ever conceived, and he named it "Nintendo."


	2. 64 Years Later

Chapter One

64 Years Later

The Blue Falcon sped down the tracks of Mute City. Captain Falcon just had to catch Black Shadow, but was falling behind. He was passed by the Golden Fox and Fire Stingray, and now has Picco and the Wild Goose on his tail. He accelerated, hoping that he could finally apprehend his arch-nemesis and win the grand prix.

Suddenly, he was blindsided by an unknown vessel. It was faster than any vehicle he'd ever seen before! He was impressed by this new racer, but had to learn his identity. He sped up, and was soon just a few feet behind it. When he got close enough, parts of the vehicle started to sputter and eventually move. In a moment, Captain Falcon realized that this wasn't just a racing car, it was a gunship!

Lasers began to eject wildly out of the countless turrets. The Blue Falcon's defense was no match, and Captain Falcon knew it. Before he could shot down, he careened the Blue Falcon to the edge of the road and hopped out. Obviously this new racer wasn't friendly. Perhaps Black Shadow had sent him?

The gunship started to decelerate. When it finally landed, a man in a thick, orange suit of armor popped out. The man had a cannon-like shooter on the end of one of his arms, too. He walked up to Captain Falcon, and began to charge up his cannon. Captain Falcon knew that he had to act quickly, or else he'd be destroyed! What an embarrassment, being defeated by someone he had never even seen the face of! He reached back his arms, and summoned all the strength that he could find, and finally let loose with all he could.

" _Falcon…PUNCH!"_

The stranger flew backward, and Captain Falcon was suddenly winning the battle. He ran towards his foe, and began to finish him off. He wasn't sure how he'd do it, though. He needed an attack that was powerful, but he could use quickly, too. He had decided by the time that he reached his assailant.

" _Falcon kick-"_

But, before he could finish, the stranger took of his mask. Under the orange mask was a woman, with the perfect face and long, blonde hair. Captain Falcon stopped his attack. Never before had he seen such a beautiful face! "You, who are you? Show me the rest of you!"

The rest of the armor slowly peeled off and compacted. The woman was free now. She was wearing a blue, body-covering spandex suit, it looked like. "My name is Samus Aran, and I have important news for you, Captain."

Captain Falcon was still fascinated by this amazing turn of events. "Uh, uh, whatever you say, darling! How'd you like a trip back to my place on the Blue Falcon?"

"Ugh! Pervert. I've been here for five minutes, and you're already hitting on me? God, you're gross. Anyways, I'm only here to give you this invitation."

"Invitation? What for, pretty mamma?"

"Stop it! The invitation is to the new tourney that the Mario brothers are hosting. They're looking for the toughest fighters around, and they saw you. What an honor! So, what do you say? Are you coming or what?"

"Well, that depends. Will you be there?"

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Well then count Captain Falcon IN!"

"Don't get any ideas, buddy. The Smash bros tournament is the biggest sport in the world right now! Only the most serious people can win it."

"Say, babe, your middle looks good, but not good enough. I'd say you'd look a lot better if you put a good thirty, forty pounds in that belly of yours!"

"Ugh, screw off! What are you even talking about? Do you want me to get fat? Is that what you're saying?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying! Come on, babe, you know you want it."

Samus was very upset. Sure, this guy was cute, but he wants her to gain forty pounds? There was no way that that was going to happen.

"Shut up, pig! I'll see you tomorrow when the tourney starts!" she yelled as she boarded the gunship.

Captain Falcon winked at her. "Show me your moves!"


	3. Welcome to Smashville

Chapter Two

Welcome to Smashville

Captain Falcon woke up ten minutes after his alarm went off/ "Aw, dang it, clock! My age old nemesis!" He leapt out of bed, in full costume ("pajamas are for Communists," he says), punched a hole in his apartment's wall ("the HRA can suck it!") and jumped out of his penthouse. He pressed a button on his belt, and the Blue Falcon flew directly underneath him. He landed softly and comfortably in his leather chair. He knew that he had to do his absolute best today. He could become legend today!

He started to head towards the tournament location, and was dumbstruck by the sheer silliness of it. "Who names a city _Smashville_? Is it made entirely for smashing things? Sounds like some more liberal crap." As he sped to it, however, he got really caught up in the daily _Rush Limbaugh_ broadcast and missed his exit (The 2nd Amendment gives us our _right_ to bear-aw, crap, was that exit sixty-four?").

As he desperately tried to find a turnaround spot, he noticed that the roads were getting more and more rural. Soon there were trees everywhere. "This is definitely not right. I thought nature was destroyed!" He slowed down, hoping to find help from someone, _anyone_ , when he heard gunshots. He jumped out of the Blue Falcon and brandished his own laser gun. He proceeded to shoot randomly, with his eyes closed, until the shooting stopped. Eventually, it did.

The Captain did hear a new sound, though. A rough, growling bark was being howled at him. He looked down and saw what must have been a hound dog, with the most devilish grin on his face. The Captain's heart was melted. He knelt down to pet it, cooing, "D'aw, who is a good boy? Is it you? Is it you? D'aw…"

The dog barked again, only now with a friendly, welcoming sound. From the trees, a mallard duck flew down and landed on his shoulder. Captain Falcon was filled with awe. "Wow! A hunting dog and a duck, best friends at last! You two look like trusty conservatives to me. Tell me, who's your favorite president?"

He could have sworn the dog barked " _Rea-gan! Rea-gan!"_

Falcon could not contain his excitement. "Say, how would you like to hitch a ride with me? I'm headed to Smashville, USA! What do ya say, boy? Ya coming? _Are you com-ing?_ " The dog didn't say anything. He took that as a "yes." The Captain scooted his new friends into the Blue Falcon, made a U-turn, and headed back towards Smashville.

When he finally arrived, it was noon. Smashville looked like a nice place, at a glance. He wondered how this place could serve as a battleground. The first person to greet him was a talking raccoon ("He's some BS thing called a 'tanooki.' I refuse to be politically correct!"). The raccoon identified himself as Tom Nook, and immediately asked him if he wanted to take out a mortgage on some new "beach-front property."

"Ah, crippling bank debt! I can see that you're a true capitalist, through-and-through!"

"Yes-yes, mister Falcon! Capitalism is indeed the finest form of economy, yes-yes!"

"Please, Tom, we can be on a first name basis. Call me "Captain!"  
When he finally got his registration forms filled out, he went into the snack tent. There were some people in there that he knew instantly. Most of them, however, probably wished that they didn't know him. He looked across the room and saw a dainty princess talking to none other than his good friend, Samus Aran. "Aw, sweet, is that Zelda! What a gal!" he tried to whisper to himself. He didn't do very well, though. He's quite the loud speaker.

"Oh, no, Samus. Don't try talking to this guy. What a grade-A jerk wad if there ever was one!" Zelda said. She spoke softly, as she knew that his Falcon-ears could pick up anything louder than hushed.

"I'm afraid we've already met before, and you couldn't be more right." Samus paused for a moment. "Wait, how do _you_ know him?"

"We dated… for a year and a half." Zelda said as her protector, Link, walked by. His jaw practically hit the floor. How could _Captain Falcon_ score with Zelda, but not him? "I had been getting over his loudness, actually. After two months, it became kind of cute."

"So, why did you break up with him, then?"

Zelda's face turned beet-red. "Alright, this is kind of embarrassing. Listen up. We just broke up a few weeks ago. It was going really well. I was actually hoping that he'd take it to, you know, the next the level, when-"

"Wait, you mean marriage? You wanted to marry _Captain Falcon_?" Link was suppressing tears. He worked with this woman every day. How did she not even mention this?

"Exactly. But, around the ninth month, he asked me to, well, change my body a little. Actually, it was quite a big change."

"He wanted a baby?"

"Oh, no, not that. He wanted me to, erm, _put on_ some weight."

"What? Like, belly fat? How much did he want?"

"He wanted me to gain _thirty pounds_. Thirty! He said that if I just 'fed myself like a real lady' he would 'love me like a real man.'"

"Oh, my god! Is that when you dumped his sorry butt?"

Zelda's face flushed, and she put her hands on her stomach. "No. I didn't end it then. Actually, I, well, did it."

Samus looked down at the princess of Hyrule. She was right. She _did_ put on weight. Her stomach was wider, and her thighs looked thicker than they had been last year. "Oh, Zelda! I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Are you losing it?"

Zelda was near tears. She couldn't believe that she had done this. "Well, I started training with Paula, you know, the Wii Fit Trainer, and I've lost five pounds of it so far. I'm just so embarrassed! Since we broke up, every guy that I've seen looks at me different. When I saw Luigi yesterday, he asked me when my baby was due! Oh, Samus, I'm so ashamed!"

"Now, honey, don't feel bad. Everybody dates one of those guys at least once in their life!"

Zelda sniffled. "Did you?"

"Oh, no, I'm much too good for men. If they can't accept us women for who we are, they don't deserve to have us! When did you even put this much weight on?"

"God, it was awful! I just spent weeks lying around, eating anything I could find! The worst part is, I started to _like it_!"

Samus was flabbergasted. "You actually liked being chubby? Zelda, you've ruined your body!" This was too much for Zelda. She turned and ran away. Samus ran after her friend.

Captain Falcon heard every single bit of that conversation.


	4. Let the Battle Begin

Chapter Three

Let the Battle Begin

Shortly after the meet-and-greet session between all of the fighters, a short, pudgy man in blue overalls walked up to a podium outside. A lanky, awkward man followed behind him, holding a stack of papers that was clearly too much for him to have. He grunted and wheezed as he desperately tried to keep this stack of papers from toppling over. He had _one_ job. It would be terrible if he messed it up.

"Hey-a, it's-a me, Mario!" he shouted into the microphone. The crowd burst into cheer. Girls were swooning. Men were chanting his name. This pleased Mario. After all, he was the founder of the Smash Tournament. "Listen up-a! We-a going to have a good time today, right?"

The Smashers bleated out, "YEAH!"

"Oh-a kay! Now, before-a we begin, let us take-a roll call! Luigi, hand-a me the first paper." The lanky assistant handed Mario the first paper, which Captain Falcon could see was stamped " _Yoshi!"_

Yoshi yelled out "Yoshi, Yoshi!" No one knows exactly what the Yoshi species is saying, but Captain Falcon interpreted it as a "Gee, that Captain Falcon is going to kick my behind!" It impressed Captain Falcon how true Yoshi was.

"Link! Is-a Link here?"

"HYA! HYAH! HYAAAAH!"

"Ah, Samus. I thought I saw her today. Are-a you here, Samus?"

Samus' mouth was full. She swallowed the cupcake that she was eating and said, "Mm-hm! I'm here!" She then started to eat another cupcake.

"Is-a there a Pit?"

"Here, sir! And I brought my two friends from Skyworld!"

Mario grimaced at the two people beside Pit. "Is-a that guy you in black?"

"Not me in black, no! He's Pittoo!"

Mario regretted inviting these guys. He had ever heard of anything they were even in! He looked around the crowds.

"Ice Climbers?"

A little boy, Ness, raised his hand. "Popo told me that they couldn't come this year, Mario. He said that they had some ice that urgently needed to be climbed.

Mario understood. The proceedings went on like this for twenty minutes, and Captain Falcon met a wide variety of people. He saw a talking gorilla, a ninja, a two-dimensional silhouette, and, most surprisingly, a fire-breathing dragon, for some reason.

When roll call had finally finished, Mario looked at the crowd and said, "Well, we are all-a here! Here are the official bracket listings! It looks like our first match of the day will be between Captain Falcon and Robin!" Captain Falcon guffawed. If he had to fight a _bird_ , this would be the easiest thing that he'd ever done!

"Hey, Mario! Why don't you give me some _real_ competition! All the moves that a bird can show me are gust, sand-attack, fly, and peck! Captain Falcon doesn't need those _lame_ moves! Bring me a swordsman, or even a wizard, but not a bird! That's a dumb choice and if you think differently, you're a filthy Communist." he shouted at Mario. He shouted so loud, he started to make Luigi cry. "Hey, what's his deal? Can't he stand for a little shouting?

Mario looked at the Captain. "Please don't shout near my brother. He's quite the sensitive guy, you know. And-a this Robin guy, he's-a not a bird. He's actually a magical swordsman!"

Captain Falcon looked up in awe. Mario obeyed his command, and got rid of that stupid bird. Now he could fight the swordsman wizard, just like Captain Falcon wanted! What a good host.

Mario looked at everyone. He declared, "The-a battle will-a start in five minutes, everyone! Make-a sure you catch the Warp Star to the Pilotwings airport! Kirby, is the Warp-a Star prepared for liftoff?"

Kirby nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, it is, Mario! I'm so excited I could dance!" Kirby then proceeded to do the funniest, most embarrassing dance that Captain Falcon had ever laid his eyes on.

"Why am I even here?" he asked, while Kirby tried to do the worm.


	5. Round Robin

Chapter Four

Round Robin

Captain Falcon and the other Smashers walked over to Kirby's Warp Star loading dock. "Each Warp Star can hold, at max, two people. Hold on tight! Sometimes, they can be little chaotic," Kirby explained. "I'll demonstrate. King Dedede, wanna ride with me?" The penguin monarch shook his head. "Oh, come on Triple-D! I'll be FUN!"

King Dedede sighed. "Fine, but only if you stop calling me that! It annoys me _so_ much." The two boarded the Warp Star. Seamlessly, it flew up into the air, and off into the distance. Two by two, the fighters boarded up. Captain Falcon couldn't find anyone to ride with.

"Hey, Zelda! How about we hitch a ride on this bad boy?"

"Fat chance, loser!" the princess retorted.

"You would know 'fat,' wouldn't you, darling?"

Zelda's face turned red with embarrassment. She knew how tubby she was. Samus walked up to her. "Zelda, we can ride together, as long as you hold my lunch bag!"

"Sure thing, Sam. I forgot that you hated the food provided for us." she lifted the lunch bag. It was very heavy, like a ton of bricks! "Sam, what'd you pack in this? It's so heavy!"

"Oh, you know, just your average lunch. Two sandwiches, a box of Oreo's, two bags of chips, and two liter soda." she said as Paula, the Wii Fit Trainer, walked by.

"Samus, I have a degree in Sports Medicine from Harvard, and I can tell you that that isn't very healthy."

"Lighten, up, Paula! It's just one day. That can't hurt."

Samus and Zelda boarded their Warp Star. The Wii Fit Trainer and the boxer, Little Mac, boarded next. Soon, it was Captain Falcon's turn. The only person left to board with was a little boy with a big smile, a red jersey, and dead eyes. Captain Falcon asked him what his name was.

"they call me villager." he said. "i'm the mayor of smashville, you know. they asked me to host this year. what a fool am i." His voice was cold, in a hushed monotone.

Captain Falcon was, understandably, a little weirded out by this. "Say, youngster, how do you feel about the government?"

"abolish the government. let there be anarchy," he replied. "only death maintains order in this fragile world. death and power. death and power."

"'Abolish the government?' I like your style, kid! You showed me some pretty good moves!" They boarded the Warp Star. While they held on, the Captain decided to try and gather some intel on his challenger, Robin.

"don't let him attack you. much power. speed needed."

Captain Falcon decided to just accept that.

When they finally arrived at the airport, Mario, Link, and Donkey Kong pulled him aside. Mario spoke to him. "The match is going to begin soon. We're going to guide you to the plane. That's where you'll be-a battling, okay?"

"Bring the toughest fighter! I'll kick his butt! He'll wish he never left his nest!"

Navi, Link's fairy friend and companion said "HEY! LISTEN! You do realize that he's not actually a bird, right? Robin is a hero that deserves to be respected!"

"Shut up, bird lover! Only liberal hippies like birds! Geez." Mario outstretched his hands between the two. Link made sure to not care.

"Hey-a, listen, Captain!" he said. "The match will be starting any second now. Come with me onto the plane!" He escorted Captain Falcon to the pink plane that their battle would be conducted on. Robin was already there, reading one of his spell books. When Captain Falcon boarded the plane, Robin stopped reading, and brandished his sword. In the stadium that surrounded the tarmac, there was a massive amount of applause and cheer. It was deafening. Suddenly, a deep, masculine voice that Captain Falcon never heard before boomed throughout the arena.

"Three…two…one… _FIGHT!_ " he yelled as Captain Falcon readied a Falcon Punch. Robin was too quick for it though. He canceled the Captain's attack with a wall of fire.

"I knew you would do that," he said. "You're easy to predict!"

Captain Falcon knew that Robin was more powerful than him because of his magic attacks. But, when Robin came close, the Captain noticed that he was impeccably slow. He decided to use this to his advantage. He sprinted left and right, all while their plane was spinning above the ground. Eventually, he grabbed Robin from behind, thrusted him up in the air, and launched an explosive attack at him. When Robin was falling to the ground, he gave him three swift punches that sent him flying even higher. Robin countered on the way down, and released his Nosferatu attack. "Nosferatu takes your energy and give is to me! Ha!"

Captain Falcon knew that the only way to defeat Robin would be to make sure that none of his attacks landed; especially Nosferatu. He jumped up and yelled, "Come on!" Robin was confused. What was he supposed to make of that? He soon realized that it was a distraction when Captain Falcon landed a perfect Falcon Kick on him. He rolled and hit the Captain three times with his sword. Suddenly, the airplane swooped to the left. Falcon fell off the plane, and grabbed on to the edge for dear life. Could this be the end of his time as a Smasher?

In the stadium, Samus and Zelda saw everything that was happening on the humungous flat screen that was placed for all the Smashers to see. Samus looked concerned. "Do you think he'll be okay?" she asked, as she guzzled a tray of nachos down.

"Who even cares?" said Zelda. "I know I don't. In fact, I want Robin to win." She looked over at her best friend, who was now on her second hamburger. "Slow down there, Sam, or you'll put on as much weight as I did!" She grabbed at her own soft, protruding belly. She kind of liked it, but she knew that he excess generousness had to go.

Samus didn't care. She drove down her hamburger with a root beer, and knew she wanted more. She looked behind her in the seats to see Falco Lombardi, the famed avian aviary. "Hey, Falco, baby," she cooed. "Maybe you want to share that hot dog with little old me?"

Captain Falcon had to pull at his hardest to get back onto the plane. Robin hit him again with an Arcthunder, and then blasted him with a Nosferatu. Captain falcon countered with four punches and swift, lighter version of Falcon Punch. Robin went flying. Captain Falcon hit him again, and Robin went higher in the air than it seemed the plane had. Robin landed, dazed and confused. Falcon pulled back his Falcon Punch, and screamed as he hit Robin off of the stage.

" _GAME!"_ the announcer yelled. Captain Falcon had won his first Smash.


	6. Spectating

Chapter Five

Spectating

When the airplane that they were riding finally ended, Captain Falcon and Robin both disembarked it. The crowds erupted with applause. When they finally touched ground, Mario lifted up Captain Falcon's hand and announced him as the winner. Robin turned to the Captain. "Good job, today, Captain," he said. "It was an honor that the fates allowed me to fight you." He outstretched his hand, in hopes that their fight harbored no ill will.

Captain Falcon grasped his hand. "It was a pleasure destroying you." he said. Robin figured that that was all the better of a compliment that he would get from Captain Falcon. He decided to take what he could get, and went to socialize with his friends, Chrom and Lucina.

Mario grabbed a microphone and said, "All-a right, everybody! It's-a time to-a move to the next-a stage! Our next-a match will be between Dark-a Pit and Shulk! Kirby, are the Warp Stars-a ready?" Kirby nodded his head. "Good! We will-a depart now for-a Onett!" Captain Falcon once again grabbed his Warp Star with the Villager. He decided not engage him, because that kid creeped him out to infinity.

When they landed in Onett, Falcon was immediately approached by a rabid dog. "Don't worry, I've got this!" Ness exclaimed. He shouted some attacks, creating fire and a strobe light display that could evidently destroy people, and then hit the dog with a baseball bat a couple of times for good measure. Captain Falcon decided that he liked Ness. He introduced himself.

"Hey, there, bucko! I'm Captain Falcon, savior of the universe!"

Ness knew that Captain Falcon wasn't aware of what he and his friends, Paula, Jeff, and Poo had been through. He decided that he wouldn't try and blow the Captain's mind. "Nice to meet 'ya, sir! My name's Ness! Congratulations on your victory!"

Captain Falcon looked down at Ness. "Say, Ness? What do you Smashers do when there's a Smash you're not in? What do you do to amuse yourselves?"

Ness made a hushed face at him. "Well, here in Onett, there's this place where we watch the matches and make some extra money at the same time… We call it the Game Zone."

Captain falcon's face lit up, "YES! I love this Game Zone! Let's head over there NOW! Shall I get the Blue Falcon?"

Ness got a worried look on his face. "No, no! IT is literally two blocks away! We can walk there in less than a minute." The Captain expressed the wildest grin. He knew when a challenge had to be accepted.

"I'll be faster than you, boy! No one can beat the speed demon shoes of Captain Falcon! See you at the Game Zone, loser!" he exclaimed as he burst off. Ness realized that this man most not be totally mentally together. He reached into his backpack, and took a bite out of his lunch for the day, a Skip Sandwich. He, too, burst into a flurry of speed. Before he knew it he was racing right beside Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon was taken aback. "What? YOU are running as fast as me?" They finally reached the Game Zone, and Ness pulled away with the win. "Ugh, you cheating boy! I'll catch you next time!"

As they entered the Game Zone, Ness noticed that something was not right about the arcade that he grown to know and love as his favorite hangout. All throughout it, there were shady men with large, red "S's" plastered over their shirts. "Stand back, Captain! These guys are members of the infamous Shark gang. They've captured the Game Corner! What are we going to do?"

Captain Falcon's eyes glimmered with anxious ambition. "I'll tell you what we're going to do, Ness! We are going to show them that the free market always prevails! FALCON…PUNCH!" he yelled as he absolutely decimated a goon. Ness shouted out a psychic attack, "PK Rockin,'" which heavily damaged another goon. He went down instantly. They powered their way through ten more goons, before finally bursting down the back door of the Game Corner. Behind the door, there was Frank.

'I see you've managed to defeat my goons," he said, "but I have the owner of the Game Corner captive! Mr. Game is mine!" he yelled as he laughed maniacally. He brandished two knives, and engaged Captain Falcon and Ness.

It was a long, tense battle, as neither side had a complete edge over the over. Captain Falcon rolled behind Frank to give him a Falcon Kick, but Frank managed to hit him with his knife. Captain Falcon fell down, as he had been stabbed. Ness had run out of telekinetic attacks, so he had to resort to his trusty bat. He pummeled Frank with it, and beat him to the ground. Captain Falcon, at long last, got up and gave Frank two punches to the face, all to be finished up with a kick that knocked him out. Once they brought Frank to the police barracks, they untied Mr. Game who, to Captain Falcon's surprise, wasn't even a person. He was the black silhouette that he had seen earlier. "Thanks for saving me," he said to the two. "My name in Mr. Game and Watch, and I own this Game Zone. Those Sharks wanted me out of the picture so that they could steal all of my money. It's a good thing that you guys were near, or I would have been a goner for sure!"

With that, Mr. Game and Watch reopened the Game Zone. When Ness brought Captain Falcon upstairs, the good Captain saw that there were already people there. They were all gathered around a flat-screen television, watching what appeared to be several matches. Ness decided to explain. "These guys come into the Game Zone all the time and bet on the outcomes of Smashes. They declare the coins that they are going to wager, and then they either pay up or get paid at the end of the match. It's quite exhilarating," he added, but then warned Captain Falcon. "Be aware that some of these guys can be pretty seedy. Just make sure that you don't anger them, okay? I don't think anyone would want to have to deal with that."

One of the betters turned around. "Aye, Ness, good to see 'ya! How's your Ma doing?"

Ness smiled. "Oh, you know, Ganondorf, she's still moving. Sometimes I wish she'd move a little faster, but come on! Lunch doesn't make itself!" The betters all burst out in laughter. Falco Lombardi turned to Meta Knight.

"Aw, this kid! He cracks me up all the time! Sometimes he even cracks me open."

Ness squinted at the television screen. "Who's fighting now? Zelda and Greninja? Give me one hundred coins on Zelda."

Meta Knight guffawed. "Ha, you think Zelda will come out on top? That babe got so pudgy since we last saw her. You're on, kid. What are you going to wager, Captain Falcon?"

Captain Falcon was awestruck by seeing Zelda on the television. Her little belly was adorable to him. He was distracted when he heard Meta Knight's voice. "Oh, I'll, uh, wager fifty coins on Zelda." Sure enough, when the match was over, Zelda was victorious.

Fox McCloud handed Captain Falcon and Ness their winnings. The Captain was pleased by his earnings, and decided that he could make a living out of this.

Captain Falcon was about to become a professional gambler.


End file.
